for hope
by Grilled Cheesby
Summary: Things fall into chaos soon enough, suddenly Qunicy aren't as extinct as they've been led to believe, Ichigo learns a startling truth about just who his zanpakutō spirit really is, and Gin is staring at him with newly dull icy blue eyes as the man lays dying once more. for GinIchi Day 2019. Time Travel AU.


**Summary: **Things fall into chaos soon enough, suddenly Qunicy aren't as extinct as they've been led to believe, Ichigo learns a startling truth about just who his zanpakutō spirit really is, and Gin is staring at him with newly dull icy blue eyes as the man lays dying once more. This time it is not a tearful Matsumoto that leans over him, but instead Ichigo himself, disbelief and repressed rage swirling within him.for GinIchi Day 2019. Time Travel AU.

**because a bitch cant resist; au in that gin lives (kind of) and the fullbringer arc didnt happen**

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_**for hope**_

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**i.**

The second Jidanbō lifts the gate, Ichigo's carefully crafted mask cracks. He's been Kurosaki Ichigo, fifteen year old substitute shinigami, bent on rescuing his friend Rukia, for ten days. For ten days he has pretended to suffer and train, worry and complain, as he is slowly manipulated by circumstance. He follows a script only he knows, nodding along or shouting nonsense when it is required of him. He does all of this without ever breaking character. He is the same Ichigo his friends know and support. Never once do they suspect he is different.

Then the gate lifts and he feels all the tension, all the panic, swell within him. It rises from his stomach, setting his lungs afire as he struggles not to choke on hope. Hope that he has been suppressing since he opened his eyes at the bottom of a hole, his personal Chain of Fate slowly degrading as Encroachment set in.

_He stares at it for a moment, time seemingly still, as his brain reboots, his mind struggling to understand what exactly is going on. The thing is, it hurts, in a distant aching sort of way. What truly frightened him the first time around was the uncertainty behind everything. He knew he was going to become a hollow if he couldn't become a shinigami once more. He remembers the outrage, the visceral fear, that had crawled down his spine when Urahara had told him that little tidbit the first time. He had cursed the man, angry and despairing, feeling more lost than he had ever felt before. That was days ago (years ago), however, because as Ichigo's blurry eyes finally register the chain attached to his chest, it is almost completely gone. He can feel the hollow presence within him rising, cresting over the surface, and he knows he must surprise Geta-boshi and the others when he doesn't scream. He knows he did the first time, that fuzzy, pain filled memory of the first time he laid eyes on Old Man Zangetsu. He let's the hollowfication process begin, eager for it, because he knows, _just knows_, who will be waiting for him._

_"You've made a real mess of things, Ichigo," Old Man Zangetsu says when Ichigo opens his eyes._

_"You fucked up, king," Zangetsu pitches in, never one to be silent._

_Ichigo smiles._

_"Dual swords?" Urahara asks as soon as the dust has cleared, sharing a look with Tessai._

_The rubble from the rather climatic explosion is collected in a circle around Ichigo, but he ignores it. He can feel the cool weight of his mask resting securely over his face. He finds comfort in it, the rough textured bone snugly pressed against him, but he knows he can't keep it. Not yet. Careful to maneuver around the rather large horns branching from his forehead, Ichigo peels his mask away, letting it shatter before it even hits the ground. Collecting himself, Ichigo shrugs, doing his best to scowl in annoyed confusion. "Are we going to start training now, or what?"_

Realizing that he's somehow gone back in time isn't the part that truly gets to him, though. His life is messed up, something he's learned to accept at this point. If he's right, and he is back at the beginning, back when he was first introduced to Old Man Zangetsu, he can change things. He can stop Aizen before the man even really gets started on truly destroying the people around him. He can make the others aware of the threat that the hidden Quincy pose. He can protect and prepare. Still, all of that is a passing thought, a second of determination and resolve that makes a small flame flicker in his chest. No, what really catches his attention as he slips out of his mindscape to pull the performance of a lifetime, is the thought of what he has left behind if he is truly in the past.

**ii.**

Finding Ichimaru Gin alive after seeing him struck down by Aizen is a surprise. Mostly because Ichigo has lost his powers and he shouldn't be seeing any of the people from his former life, let alone a traitor that was secretly a spy. Ichigo isn't quite sure how Gin got his hands on the reishi sword Geta-boshi had so carefully crafted, but having it thrusted through his chest out of nowhere is certainly something. Having his powers back, Gin's ever present grin the first thing he sees when he can finally hear Zangetsu again, is a memorable moment. It sticks with him.

_Not being able to protect his friend or family is a hard pill to swallow. Knowing that they continue on, always protecting, always fighting, is a slap in the face. He sees them makes excuses to leave class, watches them run, wishing, hoping, that he would sense something, anything. He never does. He watches Ishida and Chad run out of the classroom without a single glance in his direction. He sees Orihime turn as they approach, their faces serious, before they all leave the school grounds, off somewhere, surely to stop something that Ichigo can no longer see or feel._

_He drifts. For seventeen months, for over a year, he drifts through his life. No one ever visits to ask how he's doing, no one ever thanks him for giving up a part of himself to defeat Aizen, and no one ever looks him in the eye when they run off to fight hollows. He is suddenly an island, no longer the center of their little world. He is not the strongest, he is no longer needed, and he flounders in an open ocean of uncertainty._

_He is feeling sorry for himself, walking slowly home in a downpour that leaves him chilled to the bone, when something slices through his chest. It's burning hot, flickering inside him, as he suddenly sees for the first time in forever. Ichimaru Gin stands grinning in front of him, just as soaking wet as Ichigo is._

_"W-What?"_

_"Urahara made ya' a present, Kurosaki," Gin offers, his voice cheerful. _

_Ichigo stares at the man, incredulous, before the flickering from the sword suddenly feels different, feels more like lava than a pinched burn, and then Ichigo doesn't have time to think because he can suddenly breath again, power spilling from him as he hears a triumphant scream from both Zangetsu and his hollow. He can truly hear them, their buzzing energy at finally being whole again, and Ichigo feels like he's going to cry as he feels the comforting weight of his zanpakutō once more firmly in his hand. He feels slightly different, stronger, more clear headed, but it's drowned out by the euphoria he feels at having the ability to once more fight and protect._

_"Geta-boshi made me a present and he had _you_ deliver it?" Ichigo finds himself asking once the adrenaline starts to fade._

_"Mah," Gin says, brushing off Ichigo's skepticism with practiced ease. "I might've stole it. Who cares. Welcome back ta the fun, Kurosaki Ichigo."_

_Ichigo really can't help himself; he laughs. A true, happy laugh. He's set at ease quickly, for once losing the scowl his face seems permanently set in. He grins now, freely and with joy, as he lingers in the company of his returned zanpakutō and a sly, fox of a man._

_"Wait a minute, aren't you supposed to be dead?"_

_"Like I'd give Aizen the satisfaction o' me stayin' dead."_

It's why when he wakes up in a bed that's not his own, a head with silver hair sticking up from the comforter laying across them, he's probably one of only two people who aren't surprised.

_A surprisingly gentle caress, followed up by a sharp nip to his hip bone, makes Ichigo squirm slightly, his chest blush red as he wetly pants. He feels fevered and aching, his hands searching until they rest gently on a head of silver hair. Piercing icy eyes meet his own and he is lost._

Getting to know Gin is a trial in and of itself, let alone the fact that Ichigo went and tumbled into his bed only a week after regaining his ability to see his friends.

_"The ends always justify the means," Gin says to him once, idly staring out at the humans occupying the park they're resting in._

_"But how far until the original ends are lost?" Ichigo retaliates just as calmly, listening in satisfaction as Gin hums, a grin on his face and contemplation in his barely opened eyes. _

Things fall into chaos soon enough, suddenly Qunicy aren't as extinct as they've been led to believe (_"What the hell is going on?")_, Ichigo learns a startling truth about just who his zanpakutō spirit really is (_"Yer part Quincy?" Gin asks, his usual upbeat tone now deadpan as he watches Ichigo pace_), and Gin is staring at him with newly dull icy blue eyes as the man lays dying once more (_"This has got ta stop happenin'," Gin cackles, cough up blood as Ichigo cradles him in his arms, choked denials falling from his lips_). This time it is not a tearful Matsumoto that leans over him, but instead Ichigo himself, disbelief and repressed rage swirling within him.

His memories of the after are hazy and he chooses not to press Zangetsu on what happened. To be frank, he doesn't want to learn that Gin died in his arms, the only witness to Ichigo's despairing screams being an indifferent Aizen, who fakes sympathy and utters lies, and a smug Yhwach, always one step ahead, never stopping his destruction. He doesn't want to know about his mental break or his ability to obliterate those around him with one gut-wrenching scream. Zangetsu doesn't tell him and Ichigo doesn't ask.

**iii.**

So, yes, Ichigo is concerned about what he left behind. Because if his Gin is gone, if Ichigo is alone once more, he's not sure how far he'll get this time around. Ichigo knows how to prevent plenty of things, how to defeat plenty of enemies, but he doesn't know how Gin survived Aizen's blade. He doesn't know what he has to do, how long he has to pretend, before Gin can return to him. This Gin, the captain of the third division, is still in love with Matsumoto, still lying to those around him in order to be there to stab Aizen in the back when the right time presents itself. Ichigo is terrified suddenly, because he has been forced to leave behind the one thing that saved him the first time around.

Still, Ichigo can read his soul, Zangetsu and the Old Man equally as determined as he is, both mourning just as thoroughly as Ichigo is, and he knows he will follow the script that he created all those years ago. He will fight and win and then fight and lose, if only so he can return to the point he craves. The time he first looked into Gin's eyes. The time he felt slightly chapped lips against his own, fingers grazing his side as a grinning mouth moved alongside Ichigo's. He knows the lines he must say, the actions he must do, to reach that point. He's willing to do some things differently, a stronger friendship here, a saved life there, but never would he jeopardize the meeting of souls he is hopelessly pining for; and when he lifts the mask off of his face, meets Geta-boshi's eyes after putting on a show of getting his powers back, he deliberately pretends to be surprised at the two blades clutched in his hands. He straps the khyber knife to his back, the trench knife to his right hip, and he pulls the performance of a lifetime.

When he finally stands in front of the gate, Jidanbō defeated, he hates himself just a little for the way a spark of hope surfaces. He is foolish for it, silly for hoping that Gin will be his immediately, but he can't escape his flight of fancy. All he can do is struggle with himself, pull his mask tighter across his brow, and be who he has to be in the moment.

It doesn't stop his mask cracking when he gets his first glimpse of Gin in what feels like years. Same captain's uniform, same ever present grin and squinted eyes. It makes Ichigo ache something fierce, seeing the man he fell in love with, the man who now only knows him as nothing more than someone who could possibly stop Aizen in the not so distant future.

So when Gin opens his eyes and looks at him with a mischievous gaze, Ichigo's mask breaks completely; because this wasn't part of the script. This, seeing Gin's beautiful, calculating gaze, never happened the first time around.

"Ichigo-chan," Gin says teasingly, arms folded across his chest, his grin tinged with relief only Ichigo can read.

Ichigo sobs, "Gin," and moves. He's in Gin's arms within half a second, unconcerned for the confusion of the people around them. He will worry about that later. For now, he clings, grateful for the way the silver haired man returns his tight embrace. True emotion in front of others is rare on Gin's part, so the fact that man is so unrestrained truly shows how much their reunion is affecting him. It brings a teary smile to Ichigo's face.

"You're here," he mutters in stunned wonder, happily looking into the other's slightly parted eyes. Gin continues to look at him, never taking his gaze away from Ichigo's face. "You're here."

"'m here," Gin replies, soothing in his confidence as he raises his hands to cup Ichigo's face, their foreheads brushing together as they both grin stupidly at the other. All plans go to the wayside as Ichigo closes his eyes and just breathes.

Masks and scripts are forgotten as Ichigo embraces his past, present, and future.

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_**kibō no tame ni**_

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**pffft yo so sorry this is all kinds of ooc. ive literally never written gin before, but as soon as i saw that one of the prompts for ginichi day 2019 was time travel, i knew my dumb ass wouldnt be able to resist fuckin some of that shit up. so here we are. sorry its so telling and explanationy and not like dialoguey. also i have LITERALLY never heard gin speak, but every fic ive seen has him with an accent? so? i tried. if it's really bad, i can just remove it.**


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